Ultimate
by Sarah-Chan5
Summary: Vincent's sin was not being able to save Lucrecia, but did she even want to be saved?


My take on Vincent's past. Sort of twisted, I guess.   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. U.U;  
  
Pairings: Vincent/Lucrecia  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
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"Ultimate"   
  
Darkness. Endless darkness. He'd be just as well off with his eyes closed it was so dark. But he wouldn't stop. He had promised to come back. He had promised himself he'd never loose anybody again. But he knew it was a lie. He lost everyone. It all started with her; Lucrecia. He had loved her, cared for her so much. But she gave herself up to Hojo so quickly it made Vincent wonder if she really cared at all.   
  
He could blame this entire thing on her, but that would be unfair. He knew he had nobody else to blame but himself. It was his fault she left. If he had been better to her, she would never leave. If he hadn't of been with the Turks, maybe she would've cared more. No. It was because of the Turks that he met her. Wasn't it?   
  
It was his fault Chaos was free. His fault for not saving her. His fault for not fighting back against Hojo. His fault he's the monster he calls himself today. Eternal loneliness and sleep was his punishment. But not just to sleep, but to sleep with reoccurring nightmares of her death, of being experimented on, of Chaos.   
  
He tells himself, "If I was only stronger, I could stop Chaos." He's blind to the simplest things. He believes he created Chaos out of the darkness inside him. Of all the sins he brought upon himself. For loosing her.   
  
He never even imagined Chaos was Lucrecia's darkness. He never fully knew just what she gave herself up for, and if he at one time did know it was lost now. He would never guess that Chaos was the experiment she gave herself up for. It all seemed so distant. Those memories.   
  
The project.. the experiment. "Project: Chaos." it was called. He remembered now. Merging demons with a human. Making a super-human so to speak. The super demon. Chaos. Made from the blood of the innocent, Chaos was to be the perfect demon. The only thing different was Chaos was made to be controlled. The experiment failed.   
  
His head hurt. He could remember it all so clearly now. Him. Hojo. Telling him of the plans for Chaos. Lucrecia was so transfixed with everything he said. She knew she would die. So Vincent offered himself as well. He was to be the one merged with demons. Merged with the demon made from her. This way, she would always be with him.   
  
The day came when Chaos was to be created. He knew it was best not to see her. So he waited. He heard the screams as she was torn apart, limb from limb as every last drop of her blood was drained from her now lifeless body. The realization of it all never hit him though. He never thought about how he would never hear her laugh, cry, or get mad again. It was all gone. Only her memory would remain, but even that has started to fade.   
  
As the memories flooded back Vincent fell to his knees. The small tinge of pain in his head from before now a throbbing ache. But he deserved this pain, after all. It was his fault.   
  
There it sat. Chaos. Made from the blood of the innocent. The lord of all demons. Extreme power that was to be controlled. What fools could have thought such a thing? You can make the monster, but you can't ever control it. Just because you've made something does not mean it will listen to you. Humans are the same. You have children and they grow up and make their own choices. Chaos seemed to be the same way.   
  
Could Chaos really be controlled? Why is he roaming free now? What went wrong?   
  
Chaos was to be created with the blood of the innocent. Lucrecia's blood was tainted. If Vincent had not willingly decided to be a part of the experiment, she would force him. After all, she was hired to lead him on.   
  
Years ago Hojo started the Chaos project, with Lucrecia by his side. They needed a human body, male or female, to become the host for demons. She had started looking at members of the ShinRa, then the Turks. That's when she saw him. Vincent Valentine. It had to be him.   
  
At first she had expected him to be like the rest of the Turks. Either self-centered or smug, but he was neither. He had an aura around him that comforted you, despite the look of sternness on his face. She was hired to pretend to love him. But she also never expected for that act to become real.   
  
She knew at one point she did love Vincent, which is why she agreed to let Hojo use her for his experiments. She told herself she deserved that pain for keeping so many secrets from Vincent.   
  
The months went on after her death. Although her blood was tainted, Hojo continued the experiments. Vincent was becoming less human each day. He was loosing control of his body, and it was slowly deteriorating as well. His left arm had already been broken in several places. Broken beyond repair so it was removed and replaced with a metal claw. His reminder that his strength could do unspeakable things.   
  
After Chaos was merged with him he became weak. Sometimes unable to even blink. Hojo would tell Vincent each day about how Lucrecia's body was ripped apart to create a demon, a demon that was slowly killing Vincent. Making him weaker as every day passed.   
  
He had to tell himself Lucrecia was still alive. Even if he knew it not to be true it kept him alive. But soon he started to wonder if staying alive was really worth it. As the months went by Hojo became more and more infuriated at Vincent for getting weaker. He'd start to blame Vincent for Lucrecia's death. So much so that Vincent started to find truth in it. He had no other memories left, so why not keep these ones?   
  
Eventually Hojo got sick of him altogether and locked him in a coffin in the basement. A coffin in which he were to spend the rest of his life in. Sleeping and plagued by endless nightmares. But to him, he deserved it.   
  
These same thoughts about life came to him now. Was it really worth it? It's so easy to fall in love, but to really be in love at the same time. That's something different. It's so easy to just tell someone that you love them. But he never said it to her. He never had to. She already knew. That, to him, is what love is. When words are never needed. Everything else is just propaganda. Meaningless words said to bring comfort and strength. Maybe that's why he is so weak.   
  
It didn't matter now anyway. He couldn't move. He knew he couldn't go on. Chaos would win. Chaos owned his body now. And not anybody could stop him. If he had the voice left to call out, he would. But what would he say? What does one say when they're on the verge of death? On the verge of having your very soul ripped out of your body and fed to the ultimate demon?   
  
Breathing began to hurt. He decided it was best to just not say anything at all. It wouldn't be heard, anyway. He could hear voices, one or many, he didn't know. Maybe they weren't even real. Maybe it was just himself talking. Cursing himself for all his mistakes. It's human to make mistakes, but he's no longer human. As a demon mistakes result in death.   
  
And he was willing to accept that. 


End file.
